this is gonna take a while to write...

cause i have to type this without getting mad.


lizifer is back.
people are being ridiculously mean.
i kinda exploded at my friend for not forgiving lizifer after she apologized.
but 1:i've been stressed lately and blowing up for no reason.
2:ZC was pissing me off and would not let me finish my sentence.
so i went to my car and watched juno until school ended.
then, at home ZC sent me a long, mean message.
i replied.
and we talked back and forth.
i called my friend and apologized while crying for yelling at her. she wasnt mad and she told me to stop replying to ZC and let it blow over.
so i did.
[but i started crying so hard that my dad woke up and my mom came up from downstairs. then i proceeded to have a longggg conversation with my mom. then she left and i took a shower]
then ZC proceeded to send me 4 more messages.
the last one:
maybe you hate asian cause you're own boyfriend told her he was with you just to get his dick sucked.
or something to that extent. i dont know, i deleted it.
so i exploded and said some reallllly immature things back. and i regret it, but whatever.

i just talked to asian and we're cool. which makes me happy cause i do really miss talking to her. i dont want to be close to her again and i know she doesnt want to be close it me. but we might start talking and the air is clear and i feel better.
ZC on the other hand...hnnn...

and it annoys me cause today something funny would happen, and we'd laugh, then she'd glare and turn away. fnjslkhvsduhjdglkjasg

anywho.
i saw tess and hilary today. i missed them dearly and it was nice to hear hilarys laugh. and i missed tess's hugs.
i am convinced that scruggs hates me. he is being such a dick to me lately, and this season is turning out worse than lasts.
and carlie is out for 2 week cause she hurt her ankle :/

and ummm im really happy i got this thing with asian cleared up. like, you dont understand.
and ummmm fuck french tomorrow blahhh.