my math and english grade are steadily declining.
the celtics lost.
i'm missing 2 out of 3 basketball games. one cause of fucking gym drill and one cause of a fucking guitar recital, and i NEVER go to that recital. but for some reason, the year i actually care, my mom wants me to play. fuck this.
i'm not going anywhere tomorrow. and most likely no where saturday.
i hate almost everyone and everything and i'm starting to back to the good old days when i was anti-social and never talked to people except in school.
and we're fighting almost everytime we talk about petty things that don't fucking matter.
and i probably wont see murphy play this weekend.
cooooooool.
:/
maybe perry and her shrink should be trying to put me on meds or something instead of her mom. that seems more logical/useful to the worldddd. *sighs*
i don't wanna be here.
oh and
jack [all time low] was in the crowd. but like, idk how, but he was in the center of a pavillion with his guitar, playing, with people all around him. i tried to take a picture, but it didnt come out.
anyways, that was pretty rad.
http://www.merriweathermusic.com/images/seating_joint.jpg
the center part that says G. thats where he was. asian and i were about P or Q on the right.
^_____^
i dont wanna go to bed. okay, thats a lie. i'm not tired. not sure why, i should be exhausted. oh well.
it's blurry, but i really just wanted a picture of the home sign. :D
anyways, that was pretty rad.
http://www.merriweathermusic.com/images/seating_joint.jpg
the center part that says G. thats where he was. asian and i were about P or Q on the right.
^_____^
i dont wanna go to bed. okay, thats a lie. i'm not tired. not sure why, i should be exhausted. oh well.
it's blurry, but i really just wanted a picture of the home sign. :D
hell or glory. i don't want anything in between.
then came a baby boy with long eyelashes. and daddy said "you gotta show the world the thunder."
i swear she was on to me. we got there around 1:30. doors opened at 5. some assholes cut in front of us, so they got wristbands to go into the pit. we were sooooooooooo pissed. we sat under the pavillion during hey monday, and rocked out to cobra starship [FANGS UP!!] and to a few all time low songs. [it was cute cause they had HOME as their set.] but, the asian was not to be denied up closeness to 50cent, so when the lights went down, we slid under the bars and into the pit. it was amazing. we almost got his hoodie he threw into the crowd, but the security dude had to take it away cause so many people were fighting over it. and some girl next to us thought she was hot shit grinding with some guy. she was disgusting. it was gross.
then, fall out boy.
absolutely amazing. favorite parts:
1. when singing headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet, pete leaned on patricks back when patrick sang "i will never end up like him, behind my back i already am."
2. pete in the crowd during saturday.
3. the video they played when changing out of the suits, with pete stripping down and getting dressed with people around him doing his hair and makeup, while the rest of the band chilled while sitting at a table. i laughed.
so many moore. i needed that concert, so much.
it was so great. whats better, i was so not supposed to be there. my mom was told that i was at the asians house watching korean soap operas. it was great.
oh, the concert had cameras for mtvU and stuff. it was fun screaming into the camera.
ahh i'm so happy.
the glorious 50cent.
the glorious pete wentz.
the glorious pete wentz and glorious joe trohman, and chicago swat team member...?
maybe more pictures laterrrrr.
i swear she was on to me. we got there around 1:30. doors opened at 5. some assholes cut in front of us, so they got wristbands to go into the pit. we were sooooooooooo pissed. we sat under the pavillion during hey monday, and rocked out to cobra starship [FANGS UP!!] and to a few all time low songs. [it was cute cause they had HOME as their set.] but, the asian was not to be denied up closeness to 50cent, so when the lights went down, we slid under the bars and into the pit. it was amazing. we almost got his hoodie he threw into the crowd, but the security dude had to take it away cause so many people were fighting over it. and some girl next to us thought she was hot shit grinding with some guy. she was disgusting. it was gross.
then, fall out boy.
absolutely amazing. favorite parts:
1. when singing headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet, pete leaned on patricks back when patrick sang "i will never end up like him, behind my back i already am."
2. pete in the crowd during saturday.
3. the video they played when changing out of the suits, with pete stripping down and getting dressed with people around him doing his hair and makeup, while the rest of the band chilled while sitting at a table. i laughed.
so many moore. i needed that concert, so much.
it was so great. whats better, i was so not supposed to be there. my mom was told that i was at the asians house watching korean soap operas. it was great.
oh, the concert had cameras for mtvU and stuff. it was fun screaming into the camera.
ahh i'm so happy.
the glorious 50cent.
the glorious pete wentz.
the glorious pete wentz and glorious joe trohman, and chicago swat team member...?
maybe more pictures laterrrrr.
murphy's law.
definition:
16 year old black female who attends a grueling private school in maryland and plays basketball for the majority of her life, while attending concerts in between. AKA dyllan.
basically.
i'm starting to love basketball again. i'm happy. i was hating it for a while there. but i love it again. i've been playing it all weekend and watching it ever since i got home from the tournament.
1. watch both in HD if it has the HD button...
2. i love d-wade. love love love love love d-wade.
16 year old black female who attends a grueling private school in maryland and plays basketball for the majority of her life, while attending concerts in between. AKA dyllan.
basically.
i'm starting to love basketball again. i'm happy. i was hating it for a while there. but i love it again. i've been playing it all weekend and watching it ever since i got home from the tournament.
1. watch both in HD if it has the HD button...
2. i love d-wade. love love love love love d-wade.
i think charlie hates me.
this is the second time that i am no longer his friend on facebook.
that is all.
oh, and the 2nd game today there was this little girl, and she was such a bitch. i almost laid her out on her ass. the next time we play her, i will.
promise.
that is all.
oh, and the 2nd game today there was this little girl, and she was such a bitch. i almost laid her out on her ass. the next time we play her, i will.
promise.
the day of silence was good.
only zoey, annie, ralphie, and czarski used it as a day to make fun of me. but whatever. it was still good.
i befriended porter when i was silent by trying to bounce rocks down his shirt. then when i was aloud to break the silence, by talking about his hatred of yellow things.
i didn't have to talk during french, which was nice. or chem. but she only called on me once so whatever.
trauts covocation was good. shes funny. i love her. i think the best part was the end when anna and i took flowers from moose cause we didn't have any, then we handed to her at the same time. she seemed slightly confused.
then at the breaking the silence party she kept screaming, "THE GAY MONKEY LOVES YOU." and launching a stuffed monkey with a glittery shirt at people.
we have chips and salsa/queso, candy, funfetti cupcakes with sprinkles, drinks, burger cookies. it was so much fun. it was making me a bit mad that people who weren't even allies were eating the food, but i cant really help that.
but still. it was pretty fun. i ate so much. i'm pretty sure i gained about 6 pounds. i would not stop eating chips and salsa/queso. that shits so good!
in other news, goat needs to get over it. he went out for about a month with her. and knew her for about 2 weeks before. stopppp cryinggg pleaseeeee. it's so bad. so bad.
two basketball games todayyyyyy.
blah!
only zoey, annie, ralphie, and czarski used it as a day to make fun of me. but whatever. it was still good.
i befriended porter when i was silent by trying to bounce rocks down his shirt. then when i was aloud to break the silence, by talking about his hatred of yellow things.
i didn't have to talk during french, which was nice. or chem. but she only called on me once so whatever.
trauts covocation was good. shes funny. i love her. i think the best part was the end when anna and i took flowers from moose cause we didn't have any, then we handed to her at the same time. she seemed slightly confused.
then at the breaking the silence party she kept screaming, "THE GAY MONKEY LOVES YOU." and launching a stuffed monkey with a glittery shirt at people.
we have chips and salsa/queso, candy, funfetti cupcakes with sprinkles, drinks, burger cookies. it was so much fun. it was making me a bit mad that people who weren't even allies were eating the food, but i cant really help that.
but still. it was pretty fun. i ate so much. i'm pretty sure i gained about 6 pounds. i would not stop eating chips and salsa/queso. that shits so good!
in other news, goat needs to get over it. he went out for about a month with her. and knew her for about 2 weeks before. stopppp cryinggg pleaseeeee. it's so bad. so bad.
two basketball games todayyyyyy.
blah!
computer killed itself.
let's not talk about it. it sucks.
BLAH.
day of silence tomorroww.
then breaking the silence party :D
BLAH.
day of silence tomorroww.
then breaking the silence party :D
ZOEYS HOUSE.
i can't believe i havent written about this yet!!
first, eric went to blockbuster with the little one. the three of us stayed in the car, and screamed our heads off. we screamed, and humped, and cursed, and rocked the car. made a lot of people stareee.
we got into her room and changed out of our uniforms. and changed our shirts. a lot.
i found boob inserts for bathing suits in her drawer. [they were clear and gel-like, so i screamed when i touched one by mistake hahaha] so i threw one at asians face. it was hilarious. she thought i slapped her.
we finally got the perfect outfits/hair [zoey had to fight with the little one cause she was wearing her shirt.]
i finally met applejuice girl in person, very surreal. we walked to the park with the dog while the asian tried to light up. the lighter was low so it wasnt working too much. she was freaking the fuck out. it was kinda funny.
we walked back, got matches, and went to find paul, he wasnt home. we walked to safeway while smoking and went to starbucks and called devon.
devon drove over and it was fun. devon kept getting carded. he looks like he's freaking 20 and his our age! we sat on some random stairs and talked, then teddy came and talked, and brought us to some place that doesnt card. the asian was happy. she was about to have a meltdown. teddy left, we went near the water and sat and talked, devon drove us home. we had pizza. we talked. asian fell asleep, zoey and i fell asleep. we woke up, we talked.
it was fun. :D
i took some badass pictures too. they better effing turn out tomorrow or imma be pissssed.
first, eric went to blockbuster with the little one. the three of us stayed in the car, and screamed our heads off. we screamed, and humped, and cursed, and rocked the car. made a lot of people stareee.
we got into her room and changed out of our uniforms. and changed our shirts. a lot.
i found boob inserts for bathing suits in her drawer. [they were clear and gel-like, so i screamed when i touched one by mistake hahaha] so i threw one at asians face. it was hilarious. she thought i slapped her.
we finally got the perfect outfits/hair [zoey had to fight with the little one cause she was wearing her shirt.]
i finally met applejuice girl in person, very surreal. we walked to the park with the dog while the asian tried to light up. the lighter was low so it wasnt working too much. she was freaking the fuck out. it was kinda funny.
we walked back, got matches, and went to find paul, he wasnt home. we walked to safeway while smoking and went to starbucks and called devon.
devon drove over and it was fun. devon kept getting carded. he looks like he's freaking 20 and his our age! we sat on some random stairs and talked, then teddy came and talked, and brought us to some place that doesnt card. the asian was happy. she was about to have a meltdown. teddy left, we went near the water and sat and talked, devon drove us home. we had pizza. we talked. asian fell asleep, zoey and i fell asleep. we woke up, we talked.
it was fun. :D
i took some badass pictures too. they better effing turn out tomorrow or imma be pissssed.
anna and mary were at the platform, so the bear house was a no.
and AIMs lady was on her cell phone, so the logs were a no.
"the bridge, over *gestures* there!"
lots of love for ZC. going behind bushes. lighting up.
"theres a person!" putting shit out, hiding behind our backs.
"what are you doing back here, or am i not supposed to report you?" said with laughter.
"we just like to get away...OO LOOK A BUNNY!" perfect distraction, thanks bunny.
drizzling. big drizzle drops, raining harder, oh shit its pouring.
spraying old spice all over the place, while in the rain.
it was hilarious.
it was good.
and AIMs lady was on her cell phone, so the logs were a no.
"the bridge, over *gestures* there!"
lots of love for ZC. going behind bushes. lighting up.
"theres a person!" putting shit out, hiding behind our backs.
"what are you doing back here, or am i not supposed to report you?" said with laughter.
"we just like to get away...OO LOOK A BUNNY!" perfect distraction, thanks bunny.
drizzling. big drizzle drops, raining harder, oh shit its pouring.
spraying old spice all over the place, while in the rain.
it was hilarious.
it was good.
so i dont cry when i hear my "best friend" bitches about me, or when im frustrated as hell about basketball/my parents, but when i cant go out?
theres something wrong with me.
the worst part is when i found out that she bitches about me, my first thought was of course. i cant have any real friends. i'm me. i fucking hate this.
theres something wrong with me.
the worst part is when i found out that she bitches about me, my first thought was of course. i cant have any real friends. i'm me. i fucking hate this.
i. cant. take. it.
i'm itchy and antsy and i just want to slit my wrist and let them bleeeeeeed.
but i won't cause im allergic to causing myself pain on purpose. but all these scratches and bruises from the game make a nice replacement.
and now i'm freaking out. about everything. basketball, school, guitar, friends, so called friends, photography, my relationship, my friends mental health, myspace. absolutely every fucking thing. i feel like i need to cry but tears won't come out. i need to do something but i can't cause its past 12 and i have to get up at 6:15 so i can be on the road by 6:45, so i can get breakfast at mcdonalds and be at the complex by 8, so i can play by 8:30, then go to my aunts house and pretend to be happy and play with her puppy and be back at the complex by 3:30, so i can play by 4, then who knows. i could be playing at 8pm. i could be going home and be done for the weekend. i need to fuck i need to smoke i need to drink i need to pop pills i need to cut i need to do something cause i'm not feeling human. i'm feeling almost nothing but undying love for a boy that physically can't be there forever [fml] and anger towards everyone and everything and especially whoever is calling the house at this hour. it's probably my sister but if i was sleeping i'd cut a bitch. i'm feeling the pain from my back [i swear it will never go away] and from my bruise on my forehead where sean and i ran into each other. [ouch] and i just want to scream at everyone how i feel about them and i wish i was more like zoey. and could actually tell people how i feel. i think i'm gonna start doing that. gahhh idk idk idk i'm freaking out and i don't want to go to bed, but i have to. oh god. i'm going to be such an addict when i'm older [like i'm not already. i'm sorry. i love you. i'm pissed at the world. someone slay me.]
but i won't cause im allergic to causing myself pain on purpose. but all these scratches and bruises from the game make a nice replacement.
and now i'm freaking out. about everything. basketball, school, guitar, friends, so called friends, photography, my relationship, my friends mental health, myspace. absolutely every fucking thing. i feel like i need to cry but tears won't come out. i need to do something but i can't cause its past 12 and i have to get up at 6:15 so i can be on the road by 6:45, so i can get breakfast at mcdonalds and be at the complex by 8, so i can play by 8:30, then go to my aunts house and pretend to be happy and play with her puppy and be back at the complex by 3:30, so i can play by 4, then who knows. i could be playing at 8pm. i could be going home and be done for the weekend. i need to fuck i need to smoke i need to drink i need to pop pills i need to cut i need to do something cause i'm not feeling human. i'm feeling almost nothing but undying love for a boy that physically can't be there forever [fml] and anger towards everyone and everything and especially whoever is calling the house at this hour. it's probably my sister but if i was sleeping i'd cut a bitch. i'm feeling the pain from my back [i swear it will never go away] and from my bruise on my forehead where sean and i ran into each other. [ouch] and i just want to scream at everyone how i feel about them and i wish i was more like zoey. and could actually tell people how i feel. i think i'm gonna start doing that. gahhh idk idk idk i'm freaking out and i don't want to go to bed, but i have to. oh god. i'm going to be such an addict when i'm older [like i'm not already. i'm sorry. i love you. i'm pissed at the world. someone slay me.]
i don't feel human.
i feel numb and tired and sweaty and yuck.
i found out that liz isnt a solid. check her off as a toxic twin, she talks about me like she talks about gd [apparently] then runs to me like she runs to gd. and now shes using the asian for drugs and when shes annoyed with gd.
i know she has issues, but really? i'm numb to this. that worries me.
tonight i played my old basketball team, i dont know why i'm getting so upset about it. even if we had won [we only had 6 players while they had 10 or 12.] i still would've been upset. i miss my coaches mostly. i love shawn, i really do. he's a great guy and a great coach. but i miss stretch and al like no other.
i'm getting emotional over things that don't matter so much. and numb to everything else. this is so fucked. thank god i have to get up early tomorrow, if not i'd be high as a kite.
i need a shower. i need to feel human again.
iiiiiidon'tknow.
i found out that liz isnt a solid. check her off as a toxic twin, she talks about me like she talks about gd [apparently] then runs to me like she runs to gd. and now shes using the asian for drugs and when shes annoyed with gd.
i know she has issues, but really? i'm numb to this. that worries me.
tonight i played my old basketball team, i dont know why i'm getting so upset about it. even if we had won [we only had 6 players while they had 10 or 12.] i still would've been upset. i miss my coaches mostly. i love shawn, i really do. he's a great guy and a great coach. but i miss stretch and al like no other.
i'm getting emotional over things that don't matter so much. and numb to everything else. this is so fucked. thank god i have to get up early tomorrow, if not i'd be high as a kite.
i need a shower. i need to feel human again.
iiiiiidon'tknow.
don't trouble your pretty little head.
there's only room for love, there's only room for love instead.
smoking in the boys room...but not.
i saw the boy this morning. it was cold and damp but i saw him and it made my whole day better instantly. i walked over with the girl and asian and we hung for awhile. then we left and went to the park, right below the hill and smoked.
these 2 old men walked by like, 4 times. pissed us off.
we all had 2, i burned my fingers twice. :/
we walked back into the cafeteria and started to freak out cause we reeked of nicotine. when i saw cate, her eyes got big. i got a new shirt from the school store...im positive everyone in there knew. as soon as i got in chem, i took eg's lotion and put it EVERYWHERE.
my other shirt aired out in the mess pocket of my backpack, so i put them back on at lunch.
the girl and asian went again 5th period while i was at GSA. all the other asians except one got mad at the asian, then she got pissed and it was just baaddddd.
...
we played pranks on chaddy and the french lady.
it was pretty funny.
ahhhhh my liiiiiiiiife.
these 2 old men walked by like, 4 times. pissed us off.
we all had 2, i burned my fingers twice. :/
we walked back into the cafeteria and started to freak out cause we reeked of nicotine. when i saw cate, her eyes got big. i got a new shirt from the school store...im positive everyone in there knew. as soon as i got in chem, i took eg's lotion and put it EVERYWHERE.
my other shirt aired out in the mess pocket of my backpack, so i put them back on at lunch.
the girl and asian went again 5th period while i was at GSA. all the other asians except one got mad at the asian, then she got pissed and it was just baaddddd.
...
we played pranks on chaddy and the french lady.
it was pretty funny.
ahhhhh my liiiiiiiiife.
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